I Don’t Love You Just The Way You Are

I know however long the universe decides we are together is no matter of mine to negotiate.

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To say I love you just the way you are would be an injustice to you. Because once I declare this, we would suddenly feel inclined to never change. I would never want to stop our journey in life by freeze-framing a beautiful chapter for my own selfish pleasure.

No, I will tell you I love you for where you came from. I love you for all the life experiences you had before I even knew you. I love you for the pain and hardship you muddled through. I love you for the love and devotion you have to the memory of a past with a woman who is now your friend, no longer your lover, and now my friend.

I love you for understanding I am not the same woman today I was three years ago when we first crossed paths. I love you for being the silent observer of my trials and tribulations while we zigzagged paths over those years, waiting for the sign that our paths should merge and our time starts now.

I love you for listening to my deepest and darkest fears and not attempting to assuage them away or protect me like a polished, precious piece of silver. I love you for having your own fears and being raw and honest enough to admit you don’t have it all together. I love you for not rescuing me like a prince in shining armor.

I love you for who you are and who you want to be. I love you for simply doing life with me. Because that is what we do: Life. It’s just that simple. We share the every day mundane tasks of making it, and yet, we somehow create adventure in it. We create joy when others would see empty space. We create security to go and unfold our individual wings, and come back to the nest to exchange tales of every savory detail of those hours separated.

I love you for accepting the constant ebb and flow of change but also for securely existing peacefully in the static constant of simply being.

I love you for all of who you were, who you are, and who you will be.

I do not grow faint at heart at the idea that one day we will be old and we won’t be young, lush and agile. No, we will grow slow and decrepit and suddenly we will realize that sitting together to read a good book in a ray of sunlight is our idea of a hot date.

I don’t regret having waited so long to meet you. We fumbled through our lives separately and finally came together like a beautiful song and verse. We did not have to re-write our song as our decades rolled away. We did it all separately yet we feel that we did it together. The way our storylines interweave with similar travails and triumphs and how we burst with “Me Too!” every time we paint a portrait of life before us is fascinating.

We have deep pools of still waters that we have slowly immersed in together over the course of our relationship. We have clutched each other’s hands during the fast rapids of change. We have had the experience of pulling our boat onto the shore and relishing in the dappled sunlight and whispering pines of paused time as we slowly trace the edges of our shimmering spirits with a tender hand.

Sometimes, my heart flutters and my eyes tear up at the idea it may not be forever. But, then I smile, and I know however long the universe decides we are together is no matter of mine to negotiate.

Because I don’t love you just the way you are, I love you now and forever.

“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” ~ Buddha

3 thoughts on “I Don’t Love You Just The Way You Are”

  1. Oh my. I just read this whole post and the ending made me cry! Very reliable at this moment in time. Brilliant read.

    Feel free to check out my blog if you’d like 🙂

    creatinghappyminds.wordpress.com

    Rosie Mauu xx

    Like

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