Now Is The Time To Be Extra

During this extraordinary time, I have had to think about how I will take care of myself. I have decided this is my time to be extra, and I urge you to do the same.

Be extra vigilant in your hand hygiene and cleaning ritual. After leaving work, I take extra precaution every time I enter my home. My scrubs come off and go directly into the washing machine and I step immediately into the shower. I wipe down common surfaces including light switches, faucet handles, refrigerator door handles, and stovetop/oven controls daily.

Be extra communicative to the seniors in your life. My dear friend, whom I call my adopted grandmother, is currently isolated in her home. Her husband is in a nursing home, which she is no longer visiting. Her entire life centered around the schedule to visit three times a day during mealtimes, bring home his laundry, and share news of church members. Now she is in her home with no contact with the world except for one local channel by antennae and anyone who calls her telephone. Call those people. Give them hope of future human contact. Offer to drop off groceries or books or puzzles.

Be extra diligent in your social distance rules. It’s easy to get lazy in our personal spacing when nothing terrible has happened “yet.” But the curve of infection is about to identify what our habits were 10 days ago. I urge you to stay true to yourself with this rule. I choose not to ride the bus, but to commute by walking or biking, if my husband is not available. I choose to cancel dinner parties, even if it’s “just on the patio”. I choose to let go of my extra hours at a second healthcare facility to avoid cross contamination.

Be extra loving to yourself. The anticipation of crisis can be nearly as exhausting as a crisis. While it is important to stay updated, step away from the live streaming and quiet your spirit. This weekend, I chose to take an epsom salt bath to start the day. Following this with my ritual of morning yoga, I took additional time to care for my anxious muscles and runaway mind.

Be extra compassionate. As an empath, I struggle with feeling overwhelmed with other’s pain. I hurt for the children who are isolated in poor home conditions, the seniors who cannot fend for themselves without the support of others. But if I allow this to weigh me down, I am of no use to the people I can reach. This is when I have taken my meditative practice to a deeper level, called Tonglen.

The word Tonglen is Tibetan for “sending and receiving”. The essence of it is breathing in that which is unpleasant and breathing out that which is relieving or enjoyable. Practicing Tonglen gives a sense of awareness to the moment, allows you to feel what it is to be in the other person’s shoes, and then to send out the energy you would wish for that person to experience. I have found this breathing practice to be beneficial in the morning to unload the weight of the world off of my back. I can acknowledge the pain or sadness of those around me, breathe it in, and then send forth a small message or prayer of courage and strength when I breathe out.

This is also useful when you are in a confrontation. Take a moment to feel the stress of the person that is confronting you. Breathe it in. And when you breathe out, provide them what you would wish for, a smile and a compassionate response.

Now is the time to be extra. Extra compassionate. Extra vigilant. Extra patient. Because tomorrow, you may be the one who is in need of assistance. Wouldn’t you want the person helping you be the one who was extra and has some left over?

“A quiet mind is able to hear intuition over fear.” ~Yvan Byeajee